Our First Deployment

Homecoming

Yesterday was awful. But today is still THE day :) :) I’m already shedding happy tears just reading other wives post about their excitement. I’m so anxious I’m sick……and I’ve only been awake for 10 minutes. My mind just can’t wrap around the fact that deployment is done. Sissy was right…….I won! No more months of separation, waiting all night for phone calls that don’t come, feeling lonely, or thinking about what time zone he is in. He’s in San Diego bay right now! Now I can finally replace the memory of him walking away with his seabag, to our first embrace. All my concerns and fears have melted away. Time nor distance affected us……I am so blessed. I’m so thankful that Andrew was the man I took this journey with…..and I’m so grateful to God that I had my family and friends by my side. Thank you doesn’t even begin to show my deep appreciation and love for all of you that have held me up when I’ve been down. And a special thank you goes out to those that are here with us today. You’ve braved the power outages, took time off of work, and paid for hotels to stay the night. It may not seem like a big deal to you…….but you are going to be the first friends/family he has seen in 7 months. Today will always remain in our minds forever, and you are part of it.

Day 220: Welcome home, baby :) :)

Day 219

So, you know when you spend 219 days planning something…….and then 12 hours before it all goes perfectly……everything falls apart? Well, that happened to me today. It wasn’t enough that my car battery died, or that my car ran out of gas at the exact time the power went out across the state……no. Now, power isn’t expected back until at least Saturday. I can deal with family having to turn around and go home, or even having my photographer not be able to make it down. I can even handle that the family that was here had to crash at my perfectly clean apartment for 3 hours. I was still fine when I found out I couldn’t curl my hair to see my husband for the first time in 110 days…..much less be able to blow dry it. But now, I’m overwhelmed. If power doesn’t come back on until Saturday or Sunday, our family can’t get gas to drive back home……and the $500 I spent on groceries??? Yeah, it all went to pot. In 12 hours, yeah…..I will be in his arms. A hot sweaty straight haired mess……but we will together. It’s really hard to hold it together right now. I didn’t have high expectations for tomorrow. I just wanted to curl my hair and go home and make him milkshakes. Why did this have to happen on the 9th????

Day 216

It’s slowly started to hit me. I came home to San Diego yesterday. When I walked in……it felt a little more like home. Today is TUESDAY! It’s so hard to wrap my mind around the fact the is almost here. I have nothing profound to say today…..just that the excitement is building every hour. :) :) :)

Day 212

I’m completely overwhelmed by the fact that he’s coming home. There, I said it. I’m happy, but it’s too much for me to think about. So, my plan is……..take it one day at a time. When homecoming day approaches…..and I see his ship. I know I will feel nothing but excitement. For the moment? I’m just going to live a normal life. 

Day 210

“You won’t realize the distance you’ve walked until you take a look around and realize how far you’ve been.”

I can’t believe it. It’s happening. He’s almost here! He’s so close we are finally living on the same day again! Where did these days go? I look back and I don’t even know how I made it two hundred and ten days without him. Actually, it was only two hundred and eight because we got two days together in Thailand. But still! 

Hmmm, how do you get to know each other again? I’ve heard that each spouse should write a letter to the other describing what deployment was like for them……physically, emotionally, etc. How they feel it changed them, or made them more mature. I think that is a great idea. Because I look back and for 7 months……I don’t know what went on in his life. I know that he missed me, and that he wanted to come home. I know that his job is extremely stressful and that he lost TONS of weight. But how was he? I know he’s coming home as the same man that I married…..but on some level he’s not. He HAS changed, and so have I. 

The ideals and goals in our lives remain the same, we love each other even more, and we both still have desires for God to be the center of our lives. But what about the little things? Does he expect me to fold his socks and t-shirts the way he did on the ship? Is he going to have problems sleeping because he is in a different environment? Will he still want to just go walk on the pier with me, or will he think that is a waste of time because he’s so used to having a schedule? But my ultimate question is…….will those little things add up and make him a completely different man than when he left. I am almost positive that answer is no. But there is this little fear at the back of my mind that just isn’t sure. I know those things don’t matter. He IS still Andrew. It just feels like we are starting our relationship over. We are going to have to date again, to get to know each other. I’m ready for it. He can take me out for lobster and a beach stroll any night! =)

As I lay down tonight, I shed a different kind of tear. It’s full of exhilaration, enchantment, nerves, and hope. We finally get to be “us” again. I am just utterly overwhelmed with the thought of it. 

Day 209

“I can’t wait to hold that kiss…….the kiss that shows you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Yeah that did it. I bawled. How am I so lucky to have him for a husband? I feel so unworthy of his love and affection….but I will take it =) 

Moving back to San Diego was surreal. I just cannot believe this is all coming to an end. My parents, sister, and mother-in-law helped me unpack and fix up the place. I have to admit, it’s pretty amazing. I cannot wait for him to see it. I will post pictures the day before he comes home =). I don’t want to risk him getting on FB and seeing it.

Our dads fly out for the tiger cruise tomorrow. I’m pretty jealous =). I’m not jealous of them getting to go on a tiger cruise. I could care less about riding an aircraft carrier. I’m jealous that they get to see Andrew before me =). I hope they have a good time though. 

I went to the homecoming meeting tonight and it bummed me out. All they talked about was how much of a letdown homecoming usually is for families. That it’s not like the movies. You have to wait hours for him to get off the ship, and when he does, he is going to be so exhausted that he’s going to want to go to sleep as soon as he gets home. They talked about the re-adjustment period and how to treat them when they get back. It just overwhelmed me. I was just so excited to see his face I never thought about the details of his return. Oh well. I’m not going to over analyze the situation. I know not to expect a hallmark day, but I do expect to feel the most amazing feeling in the world when we embrace for the first time. I expect to feel all the stress and worry wash away when he kisses me again. I expect to have a HUGE smile on my face when we walk hand in hand to our car. At the end of the day though, I am just expecting to see him again. I don’t care what happens. He will be home. That will be enough for me. 

Day 209: Hoping the nerves pass and the excitement returns before he does. 

Day 202

“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” 

I made homecoming signs for Andrew tonight with my nephew and niece. It was very interesting……=) but it touched me more than anything. I sat Kylie down and asked her what she wanted to say. I said, “You can say ‘welcome home’ or ‘I missed you’……what do you want to say?” She goes…..”Uhmmm……I want to do “I love you Andrew!” «Pretty cute right? 

Two bottles of glitter later, I sat Devon down =). “What do you want to say,” I asked him. He goes, “Uhm….I want to say ‘welcome home, Andrew’ —WAIT! No, I want to do ‘I love MY Andrew.” I thought it was absolutely adorable that they just wanted to tell Andrew that they love him

Devon proceeded to tell me that when a soldier dies in the war, that they call the name out of the soldier missing. If the soldier does not answer, that means they have died. Then they have to bring them home. «Where does he learn this stuff? He didn’t even know. He did say “I hope Andrew doesn’t die. I like him.” I really didn’t know how to respond to this conversation. I just told him, “He won’t Bub, he won’t.”

Day 202: Love my family =)

Day 200

“…..the joy of the LORD is my strength.”

If you have been in church all your life like me, you have heard this scripture countless times! Today, it became real to me. How do you cope with the separation of a spouse for 7-8 months? I thought about how I could describe how I have coped. You can stay busy, get involved, work every day, make new routines, better yourself educationally/physically, etc. But I look back and that’s not what comes to mind. I look back and think of the times when I was at my lowest…….days like Day 198. I lay in bed that night hurting so deep…..but as the tears ran, something else rose in my spirit.

God really has given me joy. I look back and my worst nights turned into days of thanksgiving. I am so thankful that I have God in my life. The joy he has given me these last 7 months has honestly been my strength. I’m so so so thankful for that.

Although it does help that I’m head over heels in love with my sailor. =) After talking on the phone with him for over 3 hours last night, I just felt great today. I told him last night that I wish we could say our vows all over again. I was so overwhelmed on our wedding day. I did mean them when I said them, but since this deployment…….I just feel that they are so real to me now. I told him how I went through our “love letters” from boot camp. That was when we really started falling for each other. He wrote, ” I promise you, one day when we go to Notre Dame, I will stand on the steps and shout ‘I love this woman!’” Well turns out, we went to Paris and never got around to visiting Notre Dame. Kind of makes me sad, but we ARE going back for our anniversary someday. Here is my promise…..I promise to beat him to it. =) I’m going to be the one shouting on the steps, “I love this crazy guy!” =) 

Today is Day 200…..I told myself if I could make it to today, I could make it all the way to homecoming. Today is such a milestone! <3 <3 <3 

Day 200: %91 done! =) =)